Public displays of affection are against the rules at Sky View Middle School in Bend, and 14-year-old Cazz Altomare found that out the hard way. She got detention earlier this year after hugging her boyfriend in the hallway as he headed to lunch and she went to gym class.
In Douglas County, middle school PDA rules range from hand-holding only to no-touch policies. "We work hard at a no-touch policy," said Doug Freeman, principal of Joseph Lane Middle School in Roseburg. "We also work with the kids, so they understand our reasons for that," he said.Freeman said earlier this year the school dealt with a similar issue when a student was hugged by several friends in the school building. However, school staff learned that the student had lost a family member and the hugs came as emotional support.
Tim Wilson, principal of John C. Fremont Middle School in Roseburg, said PDA between boys and girls doesn't happen very often. The school does not allow hugging, kissing and holding hands.
In Bend, Altomare's mother, Leslee Swanson was infuriated by the punishment. "I'm trying to understand what's wrong with a hug," said Swanson, 42. But administrators said such policies are standard-issue at middle schools across the country.
"Really, all we're trying to do is create an environment that's focused on learning, and learning proper manners is part of that," said Dave Haack, the principal of Cascade Middle School, also in Bend. "This is not us being the romance police." Students only end up with detention after repeated warnings, he said.
Wilson said at Fremont, the staff also takes into consideration the situation and the context of PDAs. The students are always warned first, he said. "The majority of the kids know what their moral values are," he said. When a situation arises, the staff uses discretion and mutual respect to deal with the students. "There's no need to blow it out of proportion," Wilson said.
At the Glide Middle School, the rules are strict, and a no-touch policy is imperative. The Sutherlin Middle School carries a hand-hold only policy. "The students do understand the guidelines," said Sutherlin's Principal, Steve Perkins.
Schools need to define and actively teach what they do want to see in student behavior, said Rob Horner, a University of Oregon professor who works with schools across the nation on "building social culture that supports effective learning."
"To say 'no hugging' really blows it," Horner said. "That's exactly the sort of trap that, as soon as you say that, what is the first thing everyone is going to want to do?"
At home after school on a recent afternoon, Cazz, the Sky View student, described the no-hug rule as "dumb." "Hugging is like a sign of affection," she said. Her mother has told her that if she likes Sky View and wants to stay at the school, she'll have to abide by the rules. But Swanson, the mother, said she wonders if a hugging ban would fly in a more metropolitan place. For her, this is a politically charged issue. "The more people blindly accept these fundamental rights being taken away from them, the easier it becomes for them to be taken away," Swanson said.
Story taken from newsreview.info (http://www.newsreview.info/article/20050516/NEWS/105160070)
What is appropriate behavior for students at school and school events? Are you offended by some student’s behavior in this regard? Where do you draw the line? What if something doesn’t offend you, but does someone else? Many schools do not allow any contact between students; is that the easiest way to go?
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